| Well I have to keep blabbing here or they'll tell you I'm in jail. It's all right. I have a lot to talk about. But this blog is done, so I'm switching to 'Prove Me Wrong Please.'. You'll find it in my profile. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Bla Bla Bla
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Math Quiz
| Could someone add up the combined bank accounts of Jay Leno, Tina Fey, Jon Stewart, The Simpsons (since '07), Family Guy, American Dad, and MAD TV, as well as the royalties from my songs on the radio from 2008 to 2010 and then again, apparently, in 2012? Is there enough there to get me a one bedroom apartment? This homeless life is starting to take its toll on me. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
What It Takes
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I've been hearing a lot about how I needed to prove that I had 'what it takes' to be a public figure by enduring torture. Well, it takes more than that to be the kind of public figure that I have become. It takes money, like the money you spent on those people who stole my work. It takes practise. How am I supposed to practise in a Salvation Army dorm? But above all, and you constantly overlook this in favour of testing my resistance to torture, it takes talent: the talent that those fiends with my work did not have for the whole time you loved them. I know NBC wants you to think I'm weak, but I've endured enough torture over the last six years to start thinking of myself as some kind of superman. I'm convinced that I will survive to be compensated for the crimes against me, even if I have to wait until I'm in my fifties. I'm no longer interested in celebrating my work. You've already done such a thorough job of that WITHOUT ME. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Friday, February 8, 2013
Give It Back
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NBC, you stink! Where's my blog? Give it back to its owner! Come on! Hurry up! FOX, you stink! Where's my blog? Give it back to its owner! Hurry up! Come on! This bullshit of yours will not fly! Which reminds me, HBO, you stink! George Carlin's a sledgehammer but I'm a rapier, am I? Someone should take a sledgehammer to his gravestone. You American networks really stink. You sit there and tell everyone Canada is a wimp country. Then you turn around and pretend you own a Canadian artist's life-work because it's the only way you can look cool. That's a good chunk of Canadian culture you assholes helped yourselves to. The prime minister here has been informed. And if you don't give it back now, you're in deep shit. Great coverage of all those TV stars that got busted. Every time I go offline for a few days, people think I was incacerated for plagiarism. Why can't you wimps face the truth down there? You want me to fuck around with lawyers for the rest of my life? If this copyright thing doesn't produce some results soon, I'm switching over to defamation. Good luck defending yourself against that one. I could write a book out of all the nasty lies you've been spreading about me for the last six years to clear the way for your ugly crime. I'll soon be joining the musician's and artist's union. And as soon as we get that evidence, you're going down. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Memories Suck
| I just want to make sure everyone knows that I tried to warn you of violations against my work years ago, but you didn't believe me. Now that all my best songs have been ruined and all the laughs have been drained from my writing and all my money has been spent on parties for people who hate me, now you believe me. And that's only because I kept working through three terms of homelessness, welfare, disability, and a gauntlet of angry fans to end up where I presently am - the same men's shelter from which I first issued my public warnings. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Kill Me I'm an Artist
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People turn on their TV for information and what do they get? Manipulation. As a Salvation Army 'inmate' with no criminal record, am I out of line for pointing out that some 'respectable', well dressed people are criminals? Conrad Black was a well dressed and respectable media baron, wasn't he? I suppose you think he's the only one that belonged in jail. But how rude of me. I guess I deserved to walk the streets for years and take all those dirty looks from strangers after I tried to warn you all of this years ago and you told me to fuck off. Since then I'm glad I didn't get beat up for smiling at that little girl in her bathing suit. Good thing I didn't wink. Did Tina Fey pay a little girl to whistle at me? Must be nice to have my money. She's the one who told you that I 'sock' for so many years, right? That was so funny. Dostoyevsky said that children heal the soul. My soul could use some healing after your brutality, so make sure to keep the children away from me because some non-musician on TV thinks he's funnier than I am for stealing my blog. And does it trouble you now to see me in this desperate state? Why not turn on the TV or the radio and take your mind off of it? Is there a new band out? Great! I wonder who wrote their songs. Is there a hilarious new comedy on TV? Any forklift gags in it? I don't remember training Amy Pohler on the forklift, myself. God, you people have made my life hard. I don't know how an honest artist is supposed to survive the fans of so many lying, cheating sons of bitches. And I'd be surprised if any good at all can come out of the outrageously crooked entertainment business. I'm going to remove Preteen Queen from the web today. It can't be enjoyed by people who are too dumb to get the joke. Maybe you like it, but you're forgetting how stupid your television heroes are and how much influence they have on your life. Oh, I almost forgot. Sorry. I'm really sorry. I won't ever do it again. |
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
That's Not All Folks
| Temporary Note: I've added more to 'Take It Down' and 'The Dirt on Dateline' for interested readers. | ||||||||||
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| © 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
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