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I'm glad to be at the Salvation Army this time. It's better than the Salvation Navy. Last time someone at the Salvation Pentagon made a mistake and checked off 'castaway' on my form instead of 'outcast'. I didn't fit in with all those pirates and boat people. I was too much of a landlubber. And I had no tall tales to share with the fishermen - just true stories about how Oasis cashed in my song ('Fortune' by its author) and how roadies cashed in my LP's on the radio while Jay Leno and Jon Stewart and Tina Fey and Family Guy cashed in my writing on the television. Plus there was always someone hurling into the toilet from seasickness - a terrible thing to listen to when you're trying to sleep. They didn't think I was a musician because I haven't had sex in the last eleven years. I think they would rather have bunked with the guys who stole my work if they wanted to hear about sex and parties. |
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| © 2007, 2013. Factual scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Aunt Sally Doesn't Want You
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