The Cashier

(A lineup at a retail store.) Cashier: Okay! Okay! Move it! Next! Customer: How do you operate this? Cashier: That'll be twelve-fifty, sir. Customer: But - Cashier: Sir, there are people behind you waiting. Customer: Oh, all right. (He pays the money.) Cashier: Next! Let's go! Let's go! Customer: Can I use this on my hardwood floor? Cashier: Seven thirty-seven. Customer: But you haven't answered - Cashier: I'm not a janitor. I am a cashier. Seven thirty-seven. (Frowning, she reaches into her purse and pays.) Cashier: Come on! Come on! Move it along now! Customer: Can I return this item here? Cashier: That would be customer service, sir. This is the checkout. Customer: I know but - Cashier: (Pointing) Customer service. That way. (The customer gets the message and leaves.) Next! Keep it moving! Customer: How are you? Cashier: Twenty-two forty-five. Customer: (While paying) You sure are busy in here. How many customers do you serve in a shift? You know I used to work in retail. That was about eight years ago now, before my second child was born. She's - Cashier: NEXT! Customer: But I didn't get my change. Cashier: I'm charging you for the conversation. Take a hike. NEXT! (The customer leaves in a huff.) (Enter the manager.) Manager: Good work, Matthews. Don't let them linger. Cashier: Thank you, sir. (Exit manager. The next customer is a gorgeous woman.) Well hel-lo! I thought I spotted you back there! Nice to see you again. Those laggards ahead of you in the line didn't make you wait too long, I hope. Are you still with the dance studio?...
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.